My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
