i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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