I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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