this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
this hospital has no fireball
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
