the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
