It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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