That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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