with your own penis?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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