Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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