i used baking grease as lip gloss
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
