just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
