I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
