So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
