...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
