K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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