She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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