sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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