You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
