Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
