I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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