if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
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I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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