ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
