p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
