thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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