Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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