Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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