do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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