Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize