if i died would you start the facebook group?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
