She's JV to your varsity
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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