im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
