Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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