the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
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my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
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On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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