A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
