Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We talked him into tasing himself.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
