There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
time to smoke my breakfast
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
