literally had 100 drinks last night.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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