btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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