Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
