Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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