It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
