M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
