I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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