chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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