It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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