party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
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how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
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Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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