He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
