Is it normal to miss your booty call?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize