I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
