Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we made out on top of his cat.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
