Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize