I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
