I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
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you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
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I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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