WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
