The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
