so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
