He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
