We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
