So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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