Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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