You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
